Gregg Winkler
Biography
On a cold winter's morning in early February, Gregg Winkler was born toothless and penniless. After several years of hard work and enterprise, he has managed to grow a rather impressive mouthful of teeth.
His first experience with writing came at the tender age of 12 with his debut short story, "Mandrake," about a small Oklahoman family and its dealing with a feral duck. The story was wildly popular amongst much of the seventh grade.
Even at an early age, Gregg was studious in his writing practices. Whereas some accused the young writer of "not being able to get dates," Gregg swears it's not because he was a loser, socially awkward, or "funny looking" that he spent his Saturday nights writing stories instead of dating. It was to better learn the craft of writing. Yeah. That's it. That's the reason why.
Certain of being a successful writer, when he was 14 years-old, Gregg wrote his first novel. It was 12 pages long and contained one sex scene. Due to the sex and the use of the word "hell," he was too afraid to show his manuscript to anyone and kept it hidden for many years. The manuscript was later discovered and disposed of as it was covered in Kool-aid stains and riddled with misspellings of the word, "penis."
In December of 1996, Gregg met his future wife and asked her to go out on a date with him. The couple went out for dinner and bowling. After a quesadilla, a few stiff drinks, and a trip to a local hypnotist, the rest, as they say, is history.
In July of 1998, Gregg and his wife were married on the hottest day of the year in a church that didn't have air conditioning. With temperatures in the church over ninety degrees, it was decided that that would be the last time Gregg was allowed to make decisions regarding family matters.
In the spring of 2000, Gregg and his wife welcomed a new addition to the family. While cuddly and cute, the seven-pound ten-ounce baby boy had a habit of piddling on the carpet, and was thus repeatedly slapped on the nose until it learned to crawl and scratch at the door. Nowadays there are far fewer accidents, but a rolled up tube of newspaper still sits close at hand just in case.
After the birth of his son, Gregg decided to go to college. He majored in English, and after four years, still had no idea when to say "who" or "whom," and believes that Beowulf is a complete ripoff of Conan the Barbarian.
more to come...
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